Joy Division have just finished recording their debut album ‘Unknown Pleasures’ at Strawberry Studios in Stockport. They are parked outside the local chip shop waiting for the rain to stop so that they can finally have something to eat.
Hooky : I’m starving for some chips, me! Fucking ravished.
Barney : You’re always hungry you fat bastard. Can’t you just chew on your fist until it stops pissing down outside?
Ian ~interrupts without realizing that anyone exists in the universe apart from himself~ : Void. Void in my stomach. Void….everywhere. The rain will never stop. Even if the rain stops, the chip shop will have closed by then. Closed forever like the faint avenues of hope that once beckoned to me, but then faded away like a new dawn.
Hooky : Oh for fucks sake, would you shut the hell up?
Ian ~continues on rambling~ …the chippy shutters will be as grey as the bleakest winter inside my soul.
Hooky : What the fucking hell are you on about now?
Ian : You’ll never understand Hooky. You’ll never understand how I feel inside.
Hooky : Look if I stick my tongue down your neck will you stop whining? At least until I’ve had a pastie in me? I can’t cope with this on an empty stomach!
Ian : No way! There’s bits of kebab meat hanging off your teeth…..hanging like thin brown curtains inside a squalid tenement in the Interzone.
Hooky : If you were a real man you would have cupped my balls and patted me on the arse by now!
Ian : Look, I’ll do what I want to whoever I want! I am the talent in this band. You should shut the fuck up before I fire you all.
Ian begins to convulse. The band sit still and watch. He continues to convulse. The band sit still and watch.
It continues to rain outside.
Ian continues to convulse.
Suffice to say, Joy Division did not have chips on that rainy day in Stockport.
Hahaha – Bonesy, is that you? If not, I should probably put you two in touch. Do Radiohead next!
Well I’ve had a good laugh, partly because of the commentaries but your provoking them so I suppose your onto something. Cut out the swearing and some of the (extremely) iffy remarks about Ian Curtis’ epilepsy and his suicide and you could be onto something! I’m not sure what and I hope it doesn’t hurt too much when you go running afterwards.
There’s just one thing that bugs me you obviously know alot about the band (despite some commentaries to the contrary) and the music. So what went wrong? Were you forced to do a thesis on the group? Did you have an SM relationship with the local one legged myopic chimpanzee who forced you to listen to the music?
And secondly, how on earth can you write such vitriolic claptrap on a group that you don’t like (I’m not entirely sure, but I get the impression that you are not overly fond of the music)? It’s like me doing a blog about Briphany Stears? I wouldn’t be able to stand going through her albums and her life style – living, breathing her … (what’s the word for … non-music …) So ultimately kudos for you living with what you consider being a tad bad.
Although do get a life! Ah, perhaps you already have last entry was 2 months ago.
Or your doing it as a bet and you’ve nearly won the 3€ that you’ve been promised if you could make it last until the 30th February.
I’ve not seen anybody defend the group yet despite the sentence at the top. I’m not going to do it as I’m not even sure that the blog is still going (see above).
PS you now have proof that JD fans can’t count or type or speak proper English or … !